Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize