Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
