How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
