one two three fourrrrnication!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Everyone says I win the strip club
MIDGETS
????
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
