He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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