I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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