You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
