you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
