so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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