I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
