im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
