Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize