I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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