It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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