i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize