I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
