About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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