then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i think my cat just said my name.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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