Duck Duck Cougar?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize