My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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