I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
