The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
