oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
