plz talk dirty to me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
