Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
