he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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