Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize