i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
