im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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