What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Randomize
