Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize