so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
