someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
