you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize