i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
