yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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