So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
