I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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