you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
