My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
