Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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