I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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