Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
