Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
