so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
