so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
