had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
