fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
