I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
