u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Randomize
