just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
that may or may not have been my penis.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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