wanna go halves on a baby?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
