I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
