how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
