R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
