I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Found the puke drawer
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
