i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
