it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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