Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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