Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
