i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
