so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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