I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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