Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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