dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
