My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
