she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
