I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
